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Sweet yet Low

Purty print by Ralph Goings. More appropriate than you will ever know. Today is one of those days. I look forward to tomorrow.

Shudda.

If I've learned anything in the past 24 hours, it would be to fully appreciate what I have in the moment. No Oprah-isms here, just a simple and notable truth. I think yesterday was the last warm day for about the next 7 months. Instead of complaining about the rain, I should have went out with a bang--one last tank top session or one last slurpee from 7-11. According to Margaret Morrison, the creator of these here watermelons, I should have had one more slice.

I tend to beat myself up over regrets. There's always this little storm cloud somewhere deep inside that heart of mine. It erupts and rains every now and then and I forget about the more important things like clear skies and blue hills that always come after. I'm a survivor of sort who, from time to time, forgets that I made it to shore, that I'm human, too.

That

That is seems as if it has been raining every Thursday since September. That I ate two gigantic shortbread cookies without batting an eyelash. That I miss cooking dinner. That I used to know all the names of the US Presidents, in order of service. That I have a headache. That I miss France. That I've never been to Mt. Rainer. That I want to have children. That I cannot afford a BMW.  That I hate it when people mumble. That I always hit the snooze button twice. That my bedroom window overlooks a parking lot. That I forgot about that meeting. That I don't miss cable. That I love you. That I miss you. That I pause and still go on.

Alive

Feeling uncharacteristically alive even though I'm running on a few hours worth of sleep. I suppose this energy comes from a place wholly outside of myself. Perhaps it is because I believe in happy endings--that there is a level of peace after all has been said and done.

I walked to class yesterday and it looked like it was going to rain. I remember mumbling something under my breath to God, telling him to please give me a bit of sun. In a few hours, he answered in a way I did not anticipate. It was even more beautiful that what I thought I asked for. Yesterday was one beautiful day.

I guess part of this feeling stems from knowing that I have the universe on speed dial and it's there to grant me my heart's desire. I needed to feel that sense of connection, of cause and effect, of asking and receiving, of control and release, of life and death, too. In the present-- when we are wrapped up in our shit, we just need to trust that what can lie ahead tends to be far greater than we can percieve. To me, that is worth this kind of living.

*New Blog*

Alrighty,

So, as I have alluded to for sometime, I'm starting a new blog, which will better reflect me as I am now. I'm just in a new kinda space. Things are better, they look better, they feel better, they sound better.  I'm in the process of putting the finishing touches on it. I'll pop back in a bit later on this week to give you the link.

In the meantime, happy new week! Although it's been rather rainy and cloudy these days, the sun peaked out today as I was on my way to my office. I almost sat outside for lunch but realized that I had so much work to do. I wait for the day when I can have a free lunch--you know, read a book, people watch, stare out into space. These days, my life is filled with lots of course specific reading and problem sets. I barely have time to do thing things that life requires from us--laundry, cooking, socializing.

In due time, I suppose. I'm just glad that it's fall and Halloween is fast approaching.

 

That Tomorrow

We'll meet again, on this earth, and with love.